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Oscar 2017 Winner Predictions: Makeup and Hairstyling

“I gotta watch this now?!” said my fellow awards pundit Eric Henderson on the morning the Oscar nominations were announced.

Star Trek Beyond
Photo: Paramount Pictures

“I gotta watch this now?!” said my fellow awards pundit Eric Henderson on the morning that such Trumptastic films as Deepwater Horizon, 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, and Hacksaw Ridge were nominated for Oscars. No, Eric, I’m going to go ahead and watch them for you, and not because I feel like my immigrant ass has to prove his worth. There’s no use in two of us going mad as our president and his cabinet of criminals slowly (though hopefully not irrevocably) destroy the fabric of American life. That could be said to accurately describe the plot of Suicide Squad, a film that’s been nominated here for everything that’s wrong with Jared Leto’s Joker and won’t win because it’s difficult to imagine anyone other than the Razzie-nominated Leto watching it all the way through without feeling dirty. Had Eric found the time to get to the “cheap theater” this weekend and see A Man Called Ove, about a suicidal curmudgeon who learns from his proximity to a stray cat and an Iranian immigrant that we all need each other, he might have confirmed my opinion that good will, more than actual visible makeup work, pushed the film into this category. But Eric has at least watched Star Trek Beyond, and he agrees with me that if there was a cabinet position in our government devoted entirely to the aesthetic makeover of shriveled up Oompa Loompas capable of taking away Sulu’s marriage and adoption rights at any moment, then Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo would be the first ones to be tapped.

Will Win: Star Trek Beyond

Could Win: A Man Called Ove

Should Win: Star Trek Beyond

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Ed Gonzalez

Ed Gonzalez is the co-founder of Slant Magazine. A member of the New York Film Critics Circle, his writing has appeared in The Village Voice, The Los Angeles Times, and other publications.

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