Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine Review: Get in the Meat Grinder and Sharpen Your Reflexes

Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine is more than a puzzle-branded reskin of Super Meat Boy.

Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine
Photo: Thunderful

It’s obvious from the get-go that Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine is more than a puzzle-branded reskin of Super Meat Boy. While old-school titles like Dr. Mario or this game’s source of inspiration, Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine, simply wedged Mario and Sonic characters, respectively, into Puyo Puyo-like match-four gameplay, Mean Meat Machine refreshingly feels as if puzzles have been seamlessly sutured into the pixel-precise acrobatics of prior Team Meat titles. This is meant as high praise, as the results here feel both familiar and wholly unique—a bit like Tetris if Tetris were out for revenge, trying to kill you at every turn.

At heart, Mean Meat Machine hinges on rotating and dropping pairs of malformed Meat Boy clones from the top of the screen to the bottom. Each time players successfully connect four clones of the same color, those clones are cleared from the level’s “gene pool.” The game’s clever twist is that as you progress through a single level, Dr. Fetus adds obstacles that can destroy any clones you’ve already placed or send you back to the last checkpoint. Because you need to place clones in spots where they’ll last long enough for you to make a connection, foresight is as much a tool for success in Mean Meat Machine as great pattern-matching skills and speedy reflexes.

Mean Meat Machine is every bit as difficult and fast-paced as most of its platforming predecessors, but the generous checkpoints help to mitigate frustration. When you finally do overcome a deathtrap, it feels incredibly rewarding, especially toward the end of the game, where you may be simultaneously dodging staples of the Meat Boy series like heat-seeking missiles and fiery hell pits. A nonstop horror show of blood-splattered sawblades and exploding clones, Mean Meat Machine is as far as one can get from the soothingly Zen-like Tetris Effect while still featuring consistently challenging, interesting match-four mechanics.

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With a cartoonishly bloody visual style and rollicking soundtrack in line with the other Meat Boy games, the only thing that seems to be missing from Mean Meat Machine are bonus hidden levels. That said, there’s still at least four hours of fun to be had here—depending on how quickly you pick up the mechanics—spread across 120 levels, including six bosses that further put your reflexes to the test. Those seeking to beat the A+ par times for each stage will have a particularly lengthy road ahead of them, as nothing short of perfect placement will do.

In all, the game has everything you’d expect of a Meat Boy title, right down to the narrative—a playful, unobtrusive shaggy dog story that builds to a predictably but no less hilariously crass punchline. Turns out that Dr. Fetus building this entire game just to flip Meat Boy the bird is, yes, frivolous and excessive but also, like Mean Meat Machine itself, perfectly fitting.

This game was reviewed with code provided by Plan of Attack.

Score: 
 Developer: Headup, Team Meat  Publisher: Thunderful  Platform: PC  Release Date: June 22, 2023  Buy: Game

Aaron Riccio

Aaron has been playing games since the late ’80s and writing about them since the early ’00s. He also writes about crossword clues at The Crossword Scholar.

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