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Oscar 2007 Winner Predictions: Makeup

It’s running neck and pec between the broody Muppet movie and the one whose cast looks like they’ve been assaulted by Animal wielding a scummy powder puff.

Pan's Labyrinth

It’s running neck and pec between the broody Muppet movie and the one whose cast looks like they’ve been assaulted by Animal wielding a scummy powder puff and shouting “Make Up!” We’d secretly like to give the award to the latter, if only because it proves Mel Gibson can think of at least one civilization with more dirt under their fingernails than Jesus-era Jews. However, the only thing preventing Guillermo del Toro’s wooden fawns and floppy white dudes with eyes for palms from taking the Oscar is the possibility that some voters might think these creations owe at least some of their spell to the CGI magicians in the visual effects department. Of course, this confusion didn’t prevent Chronicles of Narnia’s real-boy fawn from winning last year. Tipping the scales further is the fact that the only previous winner in the category, Bill Corso (who helped Click become the recipient of this year’s “[stupid film’s title here] now has to be referred to as Oscar-nominee [stupid film’s title here]” running gag), snatched what was Gibson’s previous film The Passion of the Chrst’s best shot at an Oscar, sending Jesus home empty handed. If I were Mel, I’d start a whisper campaign pronto to remind voters that Pan’s Labyrinth also features bloody atrocity and sadistic, crypto-Catholic content in equal measure.

Will Win: Pan’s Labyrinth

Should Win: Pan’s Labyrinth

Eric Henderson

Eric Henderson is the web content manager for WCCO-TV. His writing has also appeared in City Pages.

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