UrbanDictionary.com defines “republican” as: “An individual who believes that the white male Christian God should be the only object of worship on the planet, that power and wealth should remain in the hands of 1% of the world’s population while the remaining 99% starve, that health care should be privatized so the poor can’t afford basic medication, that a rape victim living on welfare should be forced to care for a baby she didn’t even ask for, and that America is the only real country on Earth while all those other countries they read about are just fakes invented by communists…oh wait, it’s terrorists now, isn’t it?” Whether you believe this or not is beside the point. Imagine if you will a world where the likes of Strom Thurmond succeed in revolting against black culture. We wouldn’t have M.C. Hammer, Eminem or buzz terms like “d-bo” and “bling bling” to entertain and confuse white culture. In Head of State, the latest Hollywood comedy of cultural manners that reinforces the stereotype that white people just don’t know how to “get jiggy with it,” Mays Gilliam (Chris Rock) is forced to run for president with his brother Mitch (Bernie Mac) as his running mate. In staying true to himself he wins the love and respect of America and defeats his mean ol’ Republican competitor. To Rock I say, “Bizatch, you’re about as likely to tame a group of conservative clusterfucks as Jessie Jackson or Al Sharpton.” Rock’s platform only mildly courts satire; though he successfully exposes “God Bless America” for the selfish slogan that it’s become, all insight stops there. Despite an assortment of funny-as-shit supporting players, the film sheepishly avoids conflict as if not to offend its bipartisan audience. Head of State is only concerned with false election results which, in the end, makes it particulary useless. Because the only black man who’ll ever be allowed near the Oval Office is one whose politics have been tamed and whose color has been metaphorically stripped by a white influence, it’s unclear what universe Head of State actually takes place in. Republicans may have an easier time responding to this film but they should answer a difficult question (or two) as they leave the theater: Do you own a Nelly CD and, if so, would you vote for Chris Rock or Colin Powell as your next president?
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