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Review: G-Force

G-Force revolves around a nefarious plot known as “Clusterstorm,” though it’s a less PG-rated type of cluster that best describes this guinea pigs-as-spies adventure.

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G-Force
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures

Hoyt Yeatman’s G-Force revolves around a nefarious plot known as “Clusterstorm,” though it’s a less PG-rated type of cluster that best describes this guinea pigs-as-spies adventure. The film is a blend of live-action and computer-generated animation gussied up with ho-hum 3D effects, and its prime directive is to inculcate young viewers with the gee-whiz tropes of producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s teen-oriented fare, from heightened slow-motion, to spectacular explosions, to hectic fight and chase sequences, to dim-witted ethnic and racial stereotypes. This last facet comes not from G-Force’s human boss Ben (a wasted Zach Galifianakis) or bland, furry leader Darwin (Sam Rockwell) but via his cohorts Juarez (Penélope Cruz) and Blaster (Tracy Morgan), with Blaster in particular prone to spouting gibberish like “Off the huzzle,” “Holla!,” and “Pimp my ride!” When not scraping the bottom of the Hispanic-people-are-like-this, black-people-are-like-that barrel, Yeatman’s directorial debut is mainly content to namedrop pop-culture touchstones in ways either conventional (“I love the smell of Napalm in the morning”) or bizarre (“This is my little friend. Say hello!”) but always lame, its allusions serving no purpose except to theoretically placate adult chaperones. Between its cinematic and TV references, its multiple uses of Lady GaGa and Black Eyed Peas’s latest singles, and its deadening Bruckheimer-style mayhem, the film functions mainly as a training-wheels summer blockbuster for those too young to be admitted to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, whose robots in disguise are the template for G-Force’s eventual enemies, a group of consumer electronics products come to evil life. Early on, Blaster pleads to his comrades, “Let’s all agree on this right now—none of this goes on our résumé.” Unfortunately for the cast, G-Force most certainly will, and those unlucky enough to endure this rodent rubbish won’t soon forget it either.

Cast: Sam Rockwell, Penélope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Zach Galifianakis, Will Arnett, Bill Nighy Director: Hoyt Yeatman Screenwriter: Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley Distributor: Walt Disney Pictures Running Time: 89 min Rating: PG Year: 2009 Buy: Video

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