Hoyt Yeatman’s G-Force revolves around a nefarious plot known as “Clusterstorm,” though it’s a less PG-rated type of cluster that best describes this guinea pigs-as-spies adventure. The film is a blend of live-action and computer-generated animation gussied up with ho-hum 3D effects, and its prime directive is to inculcate young viewers with the gee-whiz tropes of producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s teen-oriented fare, from heightened slow-motion, to spectacular explosions, to hectic fight and chase sequences, to dim-witted ethnic and racial stereotypes. This last facet comes not from G-Force’s human boss Ben (a wasted Zach Galifianakis) or bland, furry leader Darwin (Sam Rockwell) but via his cohorts Juarez (Penélope Cruz) and Blaster (Tracy Morgan), with Blaster in particular prone to spouting gibberish like “Off the huzzle,” “Holla!,” and “Pimp my ride!” When not scraping the bottom of the Hispanic-people-are-like-this, black-people-are-like-that barrel, Yeatman’s directorial debut is mainly content to namedrop pop culture touchstones in ways either conventional (“I love the smell of Napalm in the morning”) or bizarre (“This is my little friend. Say hello!”) but always lame, its allusions serving no purpose except to theoretically placate adult chaperones. Between its cinematic and TV references, its multiple uses of Lady GaGa and Black Eyed Peas’s latest singles, and its deadening Bruckheimer-style mayhem, the film functions mainly as a training-wheels summer blockbuster for those too young to be admitted to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, whose robots in disguise are the template for G-Force’s eventual enemies, a group of consumer electronics products come to evil life. Early on, Blaster pleads to his comrades, “Let’s all agree on this right now—none of this goes on our résumé.” Unfortunately for the cast, G-Force most certainly will, and those unlucky enough to endure this rodent rubbish won’t soon forget it either.
Image/Sound
Blacks are very inky, especially during night scenes, but faces (both of the human and guinea pig variety) are super-detailed (you can almost see every whisker on the faces of the G-Force rodents; I can only imagine how great they look on Blu-ray). The surround work shows its muscle during action sequences, of which there are many, and the flamenco-style guitar that’s cued almost every time Penélope Cruz’s sexy guinea pig enters frame is crisp and clear.
Extras
Director Hoyt Yeatman talks nonstop for 88 minutes during his audio commentary. He’s informative and technical, probably to a fault, and often comes off like an overzealous film student proudly describing every detail of his thesis project. Other extras include the featurettes “Blaster’s Boot Camp,” in which Tracy Morgan’s character schools viewers on the skills necessary to join the G-Force, and “G-Force Mastermind,” in which Yeatman and producer Jerry Bruckheimer reveal the origin of the idea for the film (Yeatman’s five-year-old son, now 11 and sporting a hipster shag); the brief “G-Farce: Bloopers”; six deleted scenes, which were presumably removed so that the film wouldn’t exceed a kid-friendly 90 minutes; three music videos; sneak peeks at a few other Disney films; the annoying Dylan and Cole Sprouse commercial for Blu-ray that I was forced to sit through on Disney’s recent JoBros concert DVD; and a digital copy of the film.
Overall
Buy this DVD for your kid this Christmas….because Zach Galifianakis wasn’t in enough movies this year.
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