Remember Me | Film Review | Slant Magazine

FILM MOVIE REVIEW

Emilie de Ravin as Ally and Robert Pattinson as Tyler in Allen Coulter's Remember Me. [Photo: Summit Entertainment]

Remember Me ½

by Simon Abrams on March 10, 2010 Jump to Comments (7) or Add Your Own

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While it shouldn't be that surprising that a doomed post-adolescent romance like Remember Me has a bathetic ending, the one thing people will recollect about this film eventually is its abrupt and risibly tasteless denouement. For fear of spoilering any Twilight fans out there, all I'll say is that in the film's last moments, screenwriter Will Fetters desperately tries to pull together several oblique references to why the film's New York City setting matters during a certain time period and falls flat on his face.

Fetters tiptoes on little cat feet up to this pivotal moment in an attempt to impress the viewer with the painful sincerity of bad boy Robert Pattinson's volatile ex-NYU student-cum-bohemian and his equally free-spirited girlfriend (Emilie de Ravin). During the ending, Fetters slams on the brakes frantically and, for no defensible reason, tries to turn the story into an epic tragedy for a modern (i.e. tween) audience. Never mind that this ending is crass beyond belief. The film's star couple can't even convince us that they're really in love so what does it matter that the ending completely and totally shits the bed? (Look at the way they splash each other with water in his shower and wind up necking after they realize that they're both all wet—now that's what I call l'amour fou!) The climax is a glorious train wreck of an ending for a film that's as inauthentic as it is egregiously clichéd. R.Patz haters will get a big kick out of seeing the crestfallen faces of fangirls as they trudge out of the movie theater not knowing what hit them.

Desperately trying to show that he has range beyond playing sparkly teenage boy vampires, Pattinson plays Tyler Hawkins, a chain-smoking, hard-drinking rebel without a razorblade. Tragedy runs in his family; his brother Michael died six years ago, creating a huge rift between his wealthy biological father (Pierce Brosnan) and the rest of his family. Tyler works at the Strand, has daddy issues, and decides to ask a girl out based solely on a bet made by his awkward frat-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold roommate Aidan (Tate Ellington). Somebody stop this kid before he does something drastic, like smoke a joint just to spite this cruel, unfriendly world of ours. To help put out Tyler's ever-burning short fuse, enter Ally (de Ravin), an equally mercurial 21-year-old who eats desert before dinner and also has daddy issues after her mother is brutally gunned down on a subway platform. They both come from broken homes—how romantic.

De Ravin and Pattinson do everything they can to indulge Fetters's desperately out-of-touch script by looking as earnest and angsty as they can. The trouble is neither one is a competent actor. De Ravin splutters and pouts through her scenes while Pattinson looks like a constipated six-year-old with a five-o-clock shadow as he rails with all of his might against everyone and everything. I liked him more when he sparkled.

Heartfelt though it may be, Fetters's script is so inept that it reflects more accurately the world according to bad CW dramas than anything you might encounter outside of the realm of the boob tube. Scene after scene sinks underneath the weight of pretentious exchanges, as when Tyler tells Ally that he's not a sociology major but is rather "undecided," to which she retorts kittenishly, "Undecided about what?" and he, of course, sighs heavily before saying, "Everything." Explosions of emotional violence, which are meant to show how everybody in our young lovers' extended family is more than a little, like, complicated, are delightfully campy. Slaps, screams, and airborne fire extinguishers thoroughly destroy the film's air of mopey sincerity to bits, making the film's manipulative finale the histrionic explosion to end them all.

Director(s): Allen Coulter
Screenplay: Will Fetters
Cast: Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Chris Cooper, Lena Olin, Tate Ellington, Ruby Jerins, Pierce Brosnan
Distributor: Summit Entertainment
Runtime: 112 min.
Rating: PG-13
Year: 2010

Comments

jerryjeff on March 10, 2010, 09:42 PM

Hilarious. Your complete dismemberment of the movie appears exactly opposite an American Apparel ad in which model is—on purpose—the spitting image of Robert Pattinson, sunglasses and all. Scream all you want. It's bigger than you are and, somehow, Robert Pattinson always has the last laugh.

TobiasXimenez on March 10, 2010, 11:32 PM

Fucking great review señor Abrams.

cynicalinHtown on March 10, 2010, 11:59 PM

Haven't seen the movie, but must note-all the vitriol is somewhat perplexing. After all, the person writing the original slash and dash words is a MOVIE REVIEWER. Think about it: that job is to, uh, watch movies and tell the public whether they are worth watching. So, to review the review. (After all, I read and I watch movies so I must be qualified.) Your job is truly as lame as your prose, which is somewhat ironic considering the review attacks Fetters screenplay as being inept. Let the TWILIGHTERS, why in all caps, dunno ask Mr. Abrams, enjoy their film. Let us soccer Moms enjoy our film. You can say you don't like it and all the TWIHATERS will cheer. However, in your attempt at humor, and I am guessing at that word because you got nary a chuckle from me, you marginalized actual tragedy that happens to actual human beings every day. So, unlike the demographic for this audience, grow the F up and get a pair Abrams. The "I'm really cool so I can play at insensitive jerk because I spout the occasional 3 syllable word shoved in to demonstrate my mental acquity" routine is so 2001.

Rob Humanick on March 11, 2010, 12:54 AM

cynicalinHtown, you make no sense.

Gila on March 11, 2010, 02:46 AM

Yeah, Abrams, you untalented film critic hack. Pshh, "film critic"...you watch movies for a living, get over yourself.

Which is why I am, uh, perusing Slant, a- er- site that primarily features film reviews!?...? for some reason? Go back to the dark hole you crawled out of, honey.

Stefan V on March 13, 2010, 03:27 PM

Rob I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss cynicalinHtown's whole comment. Why didn't mention Coulter's skill staging dramatic scenes or how he adds much needed subtlety to the forceful screenplay.

crustycroquette on October 30, 2010, 04:20 AM

I'm with Gila—albeit seven months late, though movies don't have expiry dates.

Simon, I suggest you get a pair of glasses, or invest in a pair of hearing aids; anything at all to help you sharpen your senses, which, as this article suggests, are severely lacking. This is a terribly misleading film review.

The plot, storyline, acting, soundtrack—it was all brilliant. Simon's incessant referrals to Pattinson Twilight-heritage is a shock—it shouldn't matter at all. While some may take offence at the ending of the movie, the fact remains that Fetters has every right to utilise the events of 9/11—the stage was set it both location (city, building) and date (2001), and it was just very well done.

I'd recommend you watch this movie, it is a heartbreaking tale beautifully portrayed by the excellent script and artistic acting.