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Poster Lab: The Call and Fast & Furious 6

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Poster Lab: The Call and Fast & Furious 6

It’s nothing but amusement in the Poster Lab today, folks. The Call and Fast & Furious 6 may not be 2013’s most nuanced releases, but their posters pack in plenty of mixed messages, most of them unintentional. The one-sheet for the former employs the age-old thriller standby of a fear-gripped woman’s face, in this case the ageless mug of Halle Berry. Berry plays a dedicated 911 operator, and, yes, that headset is meant to accentuate her well-carved jawline. The Call is, in all likelihood, a mere March throwaway, but as its trailer is quick to remind you, Berry is an Academy Award winner, whose post-Oscar track record is among history’s most bizarre (remember Perfect Stranger?). While we’re at it, let’s not forget that Berry’s co-star, Abigail Breslin, is an Academy Award nominee, however irrelevant Little Miss Sunshine’s breakthrough may seem to a random suspense movie.

Part of a grand tradition, The Call sells itself with a lot of faux prestige, like a comedy presented by the ex-partner of a co-producer of a movie that made some top ten lists in 2006. The pairing of Berry and Breslin is awkward, but worse yet is the tagline atop Berry’s head: “There are 188 million 911 calls a year; this one made it personal.” So, all you would-be viewers who may have dialed for help, for distress that was very personal indeed, just remember you’re not as crucial as this plot’s Berry/Breslin/serial killer trifecta.

To establish setting, the designers behind The Call’s ad laid a Los Angeles road map over Berry’s concerned visage, providing the cat-and-mouse path for the crook that Berry, of course, must stop. Surely no one intended to, in effect, give the actress facial varicose veins, but there we are. And speaking of roads, the first (of, doubtless, many) Fast & Furious 6 posters serves up the tagline “All road lead to this,” as if five installments of a keeps-on-truckin’ franchise could lead to anything but a sixth. For a while, the best aspect of new F&F films’ arrivals was learning the titles, which have offered more confusing, redundant fun than any film series in memory. Only an ampersand differentiated the first flick (The Fast and the Furious) from the fourth (Fast & Furious), and the second (2 Fast 2 Furious) and fifth (Fast Five) chapters had a jolly good time with numbers. Now, Fast & Furious 6 (which nominally disappoints by sticking to tradition), really gets the party started with a cloud-animal fake-out.

The designers here may have found themselves feeling like en plein air landscape artists, pairing Vin Diesel with a big, top-heavy sky full of possibility. What they didn’t plan for was its undeniable suggestion of shapes within the clouds, which immediately seem to be saying something. Is that a biohazard symbol? Old Man Winter? What is this, The Lion King? But, no, there’s nothing to see here, folks, just the source of the breeze that will pass across that shiny, trademark bald head. The rest is up to the Photoshop-happy consumer, who can make the sky rain, shine, or shower meteors on old Vin.

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Watch: The Long-Awaited Deadwood Movie Gets Teaser Trailer and Premiere Date

Welcome to fucking Deadwood!

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Deadwood
Photo: HBO

At long last, we’re finally going to see more of Deadwood. Very soon after the HBO series’s cancellation in 2006, creator David Milch announced that he agreed to produce a pair of two-hour films to tie up the loose ends left after the third season. It’s been a long road since, and after many false starts over the years, production on one standalone film started in fall 2018. And today we have a glorious teaser for the film, which releases on HBO on May 31. Below is the official description of the film:

The Deadwood film follows the indelible characters of the series, who are reunited after ten years to celebrate South Dakota’s statehood. Former rivalries are reignited, alliances are tested and old wounds are reopened, as all are left to navigate the inevitable changes that modernity and time have wrought.

And below is the teaser trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAcftIUE6MQ

Deadwood: The Movie airs on HBO on May 31.

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Watch: Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Gets Teaser Trailer

When it rains, it pours.

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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Photo: Columbia Pictures

When it rains, it pours. Four days after Quentin Tarantino once more laid into John Ford in a piece written for his Beverly Cinema website that saw the filmmaker referring to Ford’s She Wore a Yellow Ribbon as Tie a Yellow Ribbon, and two days after Columbia Pictures released poster art for QT’s ninth feature that wasn’t exactly of the highest order, the studio has released a teaser for Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. The film was announced early last year, with Tarantino describing it as “a story that takes place in Los Angeles in 1969, at the height of hippy Hollywood.”

Set on the eve of the Manson family murders, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood tells the story of TV actor Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his stunt double, Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), as they try to get involved in the film industry. The film also stars Margot Robbie (as Sharon Tate), Al Pacino, the late Luke Perry, Damian Lewis, Dakota Fanning, Emile Hirsch, Timothy Olyphant, Kurt Russell, and Bruce Dern in a part originally intended for the late Burt Reynolds.

See the teaser below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scf8nIJCvs4

Columbia Pictures will release Once Upon a Time in Hollywood on July 26.

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Watch the Stranger Things 3 Trailer, and to the Tune of Mötley Crüe and the Who

A wise woman once said that there’s no such thing as a coincidence.

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Stranger Things 3
Photo: Netflix

A wise woman once said that there’s no such thing as a coincidence. On Friday, Jeff Tremaine’s The Dirt, a biopic about Mötley Crüe’s rise to fame, drops on Netflix. Today, the streaming service has released the trailer for the third season of Stranger Things. The clip opens with the strains of Mötley Crüe’s “Home Sweet Home,” all the better to underline that the peace and quiet that returned to the fictional rural town of Hawkins, Indiana at the end of the show’s second season is just waiting to be upset again.

Little is known about the plot of the new season, and the trailer keeps things pretty vague, though the Duffer Brothers have suggested that the storyline will take place a year after the events of the last season—duh, we know when “Home Sweet Home” came out—and focus on the main characters’ puberty pangs. That said, according to Reddit sleuths who’ve obsessed over such details as the nuances of the new season’s poster art, it looks like Max and company are going to have to contend with demon rats no doubt released from the Upside Down.

See below for the new season’s trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEG3bmU_WaI

Stranger Things 3 premieres globally on July 4.

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