Machete | Film Review | Slant Magazine

FILM MOVIE REVIEW

Lindsay Lohan wields a big gun in Robert and Álvaro Rodriguez's Machete. [Photo: 20th Century Fox]

Machete **

by Nick Schager on August 30, 2010 Jump to Comments (8) or Add Your Own

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Robert Rodriguez loves exploitation cinema but his homages to the disreputable genre are defined by italicized self-consciousness that leaves his humor without any room to breathe. Rodriguez's films are so busy chuckling at their own supposed audacity that there's no need for viewers to join in the revelry, a situation that muted the gung-ho lunacy of his Planet Terror and stifles almost any pleasure to be had with Machete, an aimless Mexploitation snoozer based on the writer-director's phony Grindhouse trailer.

Proving that more is often substantially less, Rodriguez's latest (co-helmed by Ethan Maniquis) recycles some footage from its short-form source material while expanding its revenge-narrative scope to concern itself with current domestic immigration issues. Stunt casting abounds for its thinly sketched peripheral players (including a comical turn by Steven Seagal as a bad guy perpetually sitting poolside with fierce Asian beauties, and a dull appearance by Don Johnson as a bigoted sheriff), as do opportunities to gawk at the skimpily clothed Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez. Yet the fact that the latter duo is eventually treated less as eye candy than as mouthpieces for the film's increasingly heartfelt, and thus decreasingly engaging, political message speaks volumes about the confusion endemic to the entire enterprise.

Years after being betrayed by his comrades, former federal agent and tattooed killing machine Machete (Danny Trejo) is hired at a Texas day laborer site by slick-haired Booth (Jeff Fahey) to assassinate racist U.S. senator McLaughlin (a one-note, Southern-accented Robert De Niro), whose election platform involves calling Mexicans vermin and terrorists, and promoting the erection of an electrified border fence. With icy sternness, Machete accepts the gig but is then double-crossed and framed for the hit in an attempt to bolster McLaughlin's campaign by turning him into a martyr, a nefarious plot made even more evil by the senator's ties to Machete's south-of-the-border drug-lord nemesis Torrez (Seagal).

Machete's prologue involves so many over-the-top decapitations that it suggests forthcoming madness of a hilariously overboard variety. Yet once the hero winds up on the run from Booth's men as well as a sexy immigration agent (Jessica Alba) and befriends a taco stand operator (Michelle Rodriguez) who runs an illegal immigration network as the mythic She (pronounced Shay, a limp riff on Che), Rodriguez's material loses focus. Too often taking its foot off the blade-slaughter nastiness and sweaty titillation in favor of proselytizing about Southern conservatives' villainy and illegal immigrants' decency, the film mistakenly chooses to articulate its viewpoints not through gonzo scenarios, but through underlined speechifying and, as with the story's coda, labored irony.

More problematic still, Rodriguez's script (written with his cousin Álvaro) spends so much time on supporting characters—including a shotgun-loving priest (Cheech Marin) and Booth's whorish daughter (Lindsay Lohan, mistakenly thinking that going topless is, at this stage in her celebutant career, somehow interesting)—that Machete himself drops out of sight for extended stretches, taking with him his amusingly absurd stoicism and the action-packed carnage that follows in his wake. Even the gimmick that serves as Machete's reason for existing—namely, that it's meant to resemble a forgotten '70s relic—is, after stylized opening credits and first-reel scratch and burn marks, barely employed. Consequently, Rodriguez's mayhem plays out in an uncomfortable alterna-verse where wink-wink Grindhouse-style period affectations and genre allusions (such as Lohan dressing up as a nun, Ms. 45-style, for no reason) exist side by side with straight-faced, cleanly shot set pieces like Machete swinging between hospital windows via a henchman's intestines.

Unlike the infinitely more entertaining Piranha 3D, which recognized that its down-and-dirty predecessors' greatest asset was their willingness to challenge boundaries in service of tawdry eroticism and gross-out gore, Rodriguez's faux B-movie doesn't push the comedic or violent envelope nearly far enough to generate base thrills. Rather, it feigns outrageousness while too often opting to earnestly indulge in the very badass poses and sincere political sermonizing it should be delivering with tongue firmly in cheek, if not outright sending up.

Director(s): Ethan Maniquis, Robert Rodriguez
Screenplay: Robert Rodriguez, Álvaro Rodriguez
Cast: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Shea Whigham, Tom Savini, Daryl Sabara, Lindsay Lohan
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Runtime: 105 min.
Rating: R
Year: 2010

Comments

el viejo on August 30, 2010, 03:19 PM

I guess that means you did not like the film?

What did you expect, Citizen Kane?

ydgmdlu on September 1, 2010, 05:35 AM

el viejo, your comment is more moronic than how you implicitly accuse Nick Schager of being. I even question your literacy, since you provide no evidence of having read the review.

Here's the final paragraph of the review: "Unlike the infinitely more entertaining Piranha 3D, which recognized that its down-and-dirty predecessors' greatest asset was their willingness to challenge boundaries in service of tawdry eroticism and gross-out gore, Rodriguez's faux B-movie doesn't push the comedic or violent envelope nearly far enough to generate base thrills. Rather, it feigns outrageousness while too often opting to earnestly indulge in the very badass poses and sincere political sermonizing it should be delivering with tongue firmly in cheek, if not outright sending up."

On what basis do you make your criticism of the critic?

el viejo on September 3, 2010, 08:14 AM

the critic should "lighten up". this is a b-movie. nothing more, nothing less.

by the way pendejo, i did read the review, ho-hum (yawn).

piranha, schmirana.

Gila on September 4, 2010, 06:26 PM

Wait, so the movie is immune from criticism by virtue of it being a b-movie? Like it shouldn't be reviewed by any standard at all?

Yeah, okay.

shazwagon on September 8, 2010, 05:17 AM

I think the first paragraph perfectly captures the problem with Rodriguez.

No-Personality on September 10, 2010, 12:02 PM

Pretty A-typically fair and on-the-mark review from Schager, I have to say. They can't all be as compelling as Dead Snow (read his blog), Splinter, and the films of those master cinematic storytellers sure to dethrone Hitchcock and Polanksi- Alexandre Aja and Rob Zombie. Nick's negative reviews are usually the ones worth reading (The Stepford Wives remake and Masters of Horror: Season 1 being my personal favorites).

roger1256 on December 6, 2010, 02:28 PM

Strongly disagree. A film of this nature is not about "pushing boundaries." It is light-hearted gore and violence. Minimal storyline, maximum action. In that capacity the film did exactly what it said on the tin. It was relatively imaginative, abseiling with intestines and phones in unusual places. Elements such as Danny Trejo's character and Cheech Marin as a gun toting weed smoking priest gave it a characteristically cartoonish feel that worked. The "gimmick" of the 70's film type was not barely employed apart from a couple of scratch marks. These fake marks and sepia filter were to emphasise the style of the film which was genuinely similar to a blaxploitation. I particularly liked the Shaft-style wakka wakka music every time there were some breasts on screen. Finally, the claims of this film being proselytising are simply false. "...Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez. Yet the fact that the latter duo is eventually treated less as eye candy than as mouthpieces for the film's increasingly heartfelt, and thus decreasingly engaging, political message". Were we watching the same film? Neither of these actors had anything much to do with the film's message. Nor was was the message "increasingly heartfelt". It was, if anything, consistently loose. It was there more for the sake of being there, thus giving the film some sense of direction than actually trying to push anything much. Don't avoid this film on the basis of that review. If you want a funny, light-hearted easy-watcher with boobs guns n' gore it's a winner.

WIZEUP on February 13, 2011, 02:28 PM

This is a great movie with all the themes that I love; Hot women, Revenge, Violence, Betrayal, Loyalty, Action and Irony. Just watch it for the legend/hero theme in mind and it makes it a great movie. If you actually watch the movie and like it, then you'll like "El Pantera" which is a series and has much of the same. When I sit down to watch a movie I don't want to have to listen to every word to know what is going on. Oh yeah. "El Pantera" is in spanish so you might not understand what is being said but I don't speak spanish either and I still like it. I like to "watch" movies better than I like to listen to them. This movie is based on a legend theme so if u like comic book style action then this is the one for you. And this review isn't a good one in my opinion. They took a high action movie which pertained to a big racist anti Mexican problem that a lot of Americans have and made it light hearted and funny while throwing in a lot of cool extras. Like, Jessica Alba in the shower, Lindsey Lohan's character being a drug addict, they brought back the real Cheech, and it also had Robert De Niro. Come on dude, you saying that it was good enough for a legend like Robert De Niro but not enough for you? Very funny. I wish I could show more restraint, but it bothers me when I see people getting a paycheck for being a hater. America allready has enough haters and there are a lot of sucky movies out there, but this just isn't one of them. The movie was very fun!!!