Christina Aguilera gets her gitchy-gitchy-ya-ya on in Burlesque. [Photo: Screen Gems] Burlesque

Burlesque **

by Ed Gonzalez on November 22, 2010   Jump to Comments (17) or Add Your Own


Where Toulouse Lautrec meets New Orleans, the Burlesque in Los Angeles—not unlike Christina Aguilera's Back to Basics—is a blast from a nonexistent past. Catching a reflection of this hole in the wall from the windows of an upcoming high rise, small-town Iowa farm girl Ali (Aguilera) waltzes in and, after flexing her brass and ingenuity, her star is born. Burlesque the film, then, is not unlike Glitter: To quote our own Eric Henderson, it's "a Make Me Pretty Barbie version of a camp classic." But unlike Glitter, it's far from camp. Neither smart nor oblivious, it's just another one of Aguilera's totems to her narcissism, and the proof is in Nikki's (Kristen Bell) enraged response to her competitor's rapid rise up the food chain: "I will not be upstaged by some girl with mutant lungs."

It would seem that Aguilera's regard for retrograde musical forms spills over into her taste in films. Burlesque is a star platform built from obsolete parts that predate Cher's first facelift, recalling the cacamamiest of Brady Bunch episodes—or some Depression-set save-the-farm drama from Hollywood's golden age. While Ali hungers Nomi Malone-like for the spotlight of the Burlesque stage, Cher's Tess—torn between her take-the-money-and-run business partner (Peter Gallagher) and stick-it-out-to-the-end best gay (Stanley Tucci)—must figure out how to pay her mortgage. Enter the bionic cash cow that's Aguilera's melisma, heroically unleashed from the girl's mutant lungs after Nikki deviously pulls the plug on the song Ali must lip-sync on stage. Like many have wondered since the former Mousketeer broke onto the scene in 1999 with the great "Genie in the Bottle": How…does…she…do…it? "It just happens," she says, almost modestly.

Yeah, girlfriend can out-sing just about anyone in the biz, even Mariah Carey these days, but that's about all that Burlesque is interested in showcasing—that and Cam Gigandet's ripped torso, which I'm almost sure gave my next-door seatmate Rex Reed a minor heartache. As she did on Back to Basics and Bionic, Aguilera straddles lines—between old and new, new and future, bombshell and burlesque—with a seemingly deliberate lack of irony. She rejects that sense of knowingness that has suited others before her, like her idol Madonna (as on the brilliant I'm Breathless), but Aguilera's arrogance is such that she feels she doesn't need to be smart because she, unlike Madonna, can actually sing. But that isn't enough. When the best you can say about Burlesque is that it isn't as bad as you expected, you know it has failed.


  • Director(s): Steve Antin
  • Screenplay: Steve Antin
  • Cast: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Eric Dane, Cam Gigandet, Julianne Hough, Alan Cumming, Peter Gallagher, Kristen Bell, Stanley Tucci
  • Distributor: Screen Gems
  • Runtime: 116 min.
  • Rating: PG-13
  • Year: 2010


Comments

Bob on November 22, 2010, 05:45 PM

This is a personal review, not a professional one. What does you thinking Christina is arrogant have to do with the movie?

AmericanBoy on November 22, 2010, 06:07 PM

Are you going to put up a review of the film or just talk about how much you obviously hate its star?

Pannick on November 22, 2010, 06:13 PM

Oh, God...Where is the professional review? It was just a personal attack. You has ignored the movie and Christina's acting and just focused on her "arrogance"? Haters gonna hate.

LinnyD on November 22, 2010, 06:45 PM

First of all do not listen to these whiny posters, because your review has been posted on a Christina fan-site and so they are all rushing here to attack you.

In reality they should be reading your last paragraph carefully because you have hit the nail on the head with Ms. Aguilera's problem that has wound up hurting her career.

LinnyD on November 22, 2010, 06:46 PM

BTW all of you saying the reviewer was getting "personal" calling Christina arrogant, he was tying her attitude into THIS ROLE in the movie.

It wasn't a personal attack, it was a professional critique.

blsandman on November 22, 2010, 07:06 PM

This is a very good review—Christina fans are out of control just like the singer. As soon as a professional reviewer writes a bad review on "Burlesque" they rush to write bad things to the reviewer's twitter or personal web page. Christina fans grow up everyone is not going to like her campy movie, just like no one has liked her last 2-3 albums its all a matter of opinion. Ed, your review was very helpful and articulate—pay no attention to her fans who have an equally nasty/arrogant attitude as the singer herself.

LinnyD on November 22, 2010, 07:28 PM

Thank You Blsandman, well said.

Truth Teller on November 22, 2010, 07:33 PM

Yes! This review does take a personal swipe at Aguilera but what is to be expected when Christina is basically playing herself. Lmao! Let's not act as if Christina's role is some huge departure from what she usual delivers in her stage performances. We will get the drag queen makeup, big hair and loud vocals that will be praised as if she's bringing forth soul when she lacks actual emotion.

Even looking at the trailers, the gushing of her vocals and the jaw dropped expressions were put in to massage the already overblown ego of the singer. It's no wonder that she waited as long as she did to make her screen debut- there wasn't anyone else who was willing to make a movie that's sole purpose is to try and prove how great Christina is. Unfortunately it like the majority of her career is all hype and little to no substance.

It's true that Christina has always felt that she doesn't have to work as hard as her peers or be as smart as her superiors because she has a good voice. It is an attitude that has been adopted by many of her fans. This is why Christina's career has hit a bump in the road and why this review isn't favorable. Get over it!

life on November 22, 2010, 07:35 PM

I'm kinda disappointed at you.I've always loved your reviews since you reviewed for Cosmopolitan.Here you look amateurish enough to mention her supposed image which has nothing to do with Burlesque movie.I don't even think Christina is arrogant in person.

life on November 22, 2010, 07:50 PM

LMAO. LinnyD ,blsandman and Truth Teller is the same person.

A Hater must have a serious issue with Christina. :sigh: Pressed much?

LinnyD on November 22, 2010, 08:05 PM

Again, will the Christina stans please log off and stop taking things so personally. It's already been established this review has been posted on her fan site along with a link to this website and Mr.Gonzalez's twitter for people to go and attack him.

GROW UP.

LinnyD on November 22, 2010, 08:06 PM

I'm posting only as LinnyD, you delusional twit.

Horton on November 22, 2010, 11:26 PM

It isn't that Christina doesn't feel the need to be smart. It's that she isn't smart. She is not ironic, but neither does she come across as sincere. If I had to sum up her style I would call it "blatant." Overt and of late seemingly "desperate."

Pannick on November 23, 2010, 02:01 AM

I'm pretty sure that Linny or Horton thinks that Britney is smarter than Christina. They look like this kind of type of people/haters.

No-Personality on November 23, 2010, 07:10 AM

Actually, blsandman, I hated Christina's first album and am growing to really love her last. Enough to say Matthew Cole was way off comparing Bionic to Katy Perry's and Ke$ha's albums (was it overproduced? Yes, but it was still neither as bad as either's worst tracks, nor a full-force bad girl posing session). As for this movie, I can definitively say I don't care and not worry about taking it back later (unlike when I wrote Bionic off after it seemed Robyn got there first with the likes of "Fembot").

Horton, (until we know who told her to get involved with acts like Santogold, Ladytron, and Peaches- so we can give them the credit if it turns out she had no idea who they were) I don't think Christina is stupid. It's probably just arrogance mixed with poor judgment. But, for the sake of argument, if it did come down to savvy on her part...do you think most people even care about things like irony? Or notice them? To quote Dan Conner, "irony is for people who don't do anything" (no disrespect to the -once- great George Romero).

Tom Elce on November 23, 2010, 11:12 AM

Please Pannick, don't try and lecture people on the necessity of professional reviews when you yourself show little appreciation for the critical assessment of blatant puff pieces like Burlesque, much less an ability to read them properly. Contrary to the silly assertion of your first post, Gonzalez is quite clear that Aguilera's idea of acting equals major suckitude, whereas he, again quite clearly, outs the film as a mediocre vanity project devoid of any kind of emotional or aesthetic investment in the supposed story and its characters, adding up to a generally shrug-worthy experience—hence the last sentence! And if Aguilera gives off an odious sense of arrogance in the movie—which Ed again asserts—why shouldn't a reviewer "get personal" and bring it up?

Your second post meanwhile speaks volumes about your own unwillingness to engage with the arguments put forth by other posters on this thread. Linny and Horton might well be the kind of "haters" who think Britney is "smarter" than Christina, but that wouldn't be relevant anyway. Or is the invocation of another over-indulged pop singer solely to score cheap points (in your own head, that is) the stuff of penetrating critical discourse? If you're to be judge and jury of what constitutes professional reviews, the future of film criticism is even bleaker than anybody previously thought.

Go back to the Aguilera fan-site from which you came, where I take it there's a much higher proportion of unbiased assessments of this film. I understand that fan-sites are all about objective opinion.

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