Sony’s insistent to let fans have their webs and sling them too and the high-flying 4K Blu-ray does precisely that.
The narrative doesn’t want for ambition, but Marc Webb proves unwilling, or incapable, of making this unwieldy story feel like anything but a deluge of backstory.
Banal, belligerent, and brain-dead, it ultimately succeeds only at being far less than meets bare-minimum cinematic standards.
It’s easier to think of the new, goofily uneven Star Trek spectacular as a qualified success given its undeniable recovery from a laughably abysmal opening scene.
The movie is “more than meets the eye”: an elaborate advert for the U.S. military. “Be all that you can be” would have been more honest.
This disc boasts more fulsome praise for Tom Cruise than any DVD can feasibly handle without self-destructing.
The film is less insanely intricate than Brian De Palma’s 1996 original and far less flamboyantly queer than John Woo’s 2001 sequel.
Colors are a bit more muted than I remember from the theatrical incarnation (Catherine Zeta-Jones’s old-time movie star entrance had more of a Technicolor glow on film), but there’s fortunately no pixilation or edge enhancement to speak of.
I think we’re far enough along in our civilization that the following can be stated with absolute authority: all Michael Bay movies are evil.