For a little while, Reuniting the Rubins promises to be a potentially charming trifle.
Stolen takes an interesting premise and turns it into an unforgivably predictable and flimsy genre hybrid.
The Gates doesn’t even pass muster as a spooky-fun summer series.
If nothing else, Stolen gives viewers a chance to see James Van Der Beek made up into a sneering, splotch-faced septuagenarian.
Historical events referenced in the first two films are brought to life in this passionless, idea-deprived prequel.
Its vision of humanity rewound to a feudal state of being is pulpy and smart, though the film is more likely to be remembered as the longest car commercial ever made.
Neil Marshall’s film thrives on the basis of chic, iconic imagery, juxtaposing eras new and old in a violent upheaval of social values.
Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid.
Would that Mark Wahlberg’s Bob Lee Swagger took aim at the critic on the back of the DVD cover who praises the way the actor “hits the target.”
Oh, no they didn’t!
This review’s opening sentence, the really dull, pointless one that you are reading at this very moment, is composed of exactly 23 words.
Oh what a tangled web we weave.