In spite of its occasionally engaging displays of gnarly brutality, the film too often feels like an adaptation of a player select screen.
The Meg resonates for the way its computer-generated beast makes way for the Statham-acious spotlight.
The film sacrifices some of its innate appeal by making ham out of the supposed relics of a less enlightened era.
If The Loved Ones takes the easy route, it at least makes sure to deliver the goods.
As evidenced by The Vow, being forced into a clean-slate courtship is a great way to cure mid-marriage malaise.