The film is more cognizant of cultural imperialism’s smugness and presumptuousness than its spiritual predecessor, the exploitation classic Cannibal Holocaust.
Imagine you’re at a picnic, and you have a paper plate.
The film is so plain-faced and literal-minded in its juvenile pandering that it’s hard to dismiss it as a mere cash-in.
Rodriguez loves grindhouse cinema, but you’d never know it from Machete, which seems more interested in mockery than homage.
Robert Rodriguez’s films are so busy chuckling at their own supposed audacity that there’s no need for viewers to join in the revelry.
Bobcat Goldthwait’s World’s Greatest Dad clumsily straddles the line between comedy and drama.
The film is a hollow CGI extravaganza that reduces a child’s fantasy trip to the North Pole to a roller coaster ride of excitement.
Disney gives the big thumbs up to the nuclear American family by including only four 3-D glasses on this disc.
The film now stands as frontrunner for 2003’s most mindless and physically offensive moviegoing experience.
By film’s end, it’s clear that family values are every bit as important to this kiddie empowerment saga as the inventiveness of its gizmos.