Like the original series on which it’s based, Hawaii 5-0 knows exactly what it is: a testosterone-heavy mix of bromance and gunplay.
The film is the kind of mass-produced, phoned-in laziness that reinforces mainstream entertainment’s bad name.
With run-of-the-mill storylines and likeable doctors, Three Rivers is neither adrenaline-pumping nor genre-busting.
The film only thaws itself out from formulaic rigor mortis via repeated sights of cords, sutured wounds, and frostbitten fingers being severed.
David S. Goyer’s film subsumes genuine emotion beneath mountains of pretentious aesthetics.