All or Nothing is being quaintly willed onto American store shelves thanks to Jay Sean’s apparent friendship with Lil Wayne (who drops in for a generous cameo) and also in order to buttress Universal’s appropriately all-or-nothing “Super Monday” CD release glut. (Other artists being shoved into the same street date like so much turkey stuffing: Rihanna, Lady GaGa, Shakira, and Adam Lambert. In other words, everyone you just saw perform on the American Music Awards Sunday evening…plus Susan Boyle.) Obviously Jay is being used to fill out the roster, but it’s not exactly like he’s coming without credentials. “Down,” the aforementioned collaboration with Weezy, somehow topped the Billboard Hot 100 last month. His sound is a flawless copy of the Auto-Tuned, open-throated, electro-popped sound of the moment. And, well, his hairdresser-gorgeous looks don’t exactly queer the deal. Hell, there are even a few good songs in here. “If I Ain’t Got You” is as midtempo-stately as anything Tricky Stewart and The-Dream came up with for Mariah’s latest annoyingly level-headed album. “Fire” is expansive and atmospheric and comes spiked with a neat recurring bass pop. And “Ride It,” which was actually the leadoff single from his previous album (unreleased stateside), is a halfway decent sex bumper, albeit one buried underneath needlessly exotic tabla drums (Jay Sean is British Indian). But the calculated monotony of All or Nothing‘s set isn’t only predictable—it’s downright boring. The entire album is stuck in the missionary position.
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