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Oscar 2012 Winner Predictions: Original Screenplay

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Oscar 2012 Winner Predictions: Original Screenplay

Bridesmaids is just glad to be invited, no? A “memorable” quote from the film according to IMDb: “You’re like the maid of dishonor.” Which makes me, an admitted fan of the film, cringe and feel as if I’m misremembering its high hit-to-miss ratio. Margin Call possibly fares worse, because is a line like “I don’t get any of this stuff” a refreshing acknowledgement that market-speak is a language that even stock brokers struggle with or a sure sign that J.C. Chandor was too lazy to do his homework? Also out is Asghar Farhadi’s A Separation, which faces the uphill battle of having to appeal to voters resentful of actually having to read the screenplay while watching the film. Then there’s Michel Hazanavicius’s blasé approximation of a silent film that would have been forgotten and lost to time—or an attic fire—had it been actually made in 1925. The reason The Artist won’t win is easy:

George Valentin:         .

Peppy Miller:            .            .

George:         ?

Peppy:                           .          ,                 !

Okay, bad cinephile! Yes, all that winking and mugging, from dog and man alike, took Hazanavicius time and wit to plot out across 13 pages. Whatever. Any way you cut it, Hazanavicius can’t hold a candle to the slightly more high-end costume jewelry hawked this year by Woody Allen, a showbiz legend who’s possibly more overdue for an Oscar than Meryl Streep. For sure, Hazanavicius doesn’t have Allen’s sometimes canny ability to make you laugh at the same time as he’s digging into you, and the proof is both on screen and on the page: “I’m having trouble because I’m a Hollywood hack who never gave real literature a shot.”

Will Win: Midnight in Paris

Could Win: The Artist

Should Win: A Separation