In the immortal words of topless-model-turned-’80s-pop-star Sam Fox (who, according to a source not so close to the singer, is a total lesbian), it’s hard to keep a good woman down, but, then again, maybe that could be fun! In other words, it’s me again, Alexa Camp, and I’m back from my extended vacation. Yes, I’m fashionably late, and I’m not just talking about my period. No, I wasn’t preggers (at least not that often, and not for long) and I wasn’t in South America getting cheap massive reconstructive surgery. It’s just that with Slant getting a hot makeover (the purple was my idea, thankyouverymuch) there hasn’t been much room for Auntie Alexa. My inbox was stuffed with emails from all of my pretty babies asking where I’ve been and you know how I hate to disappoint my public. So now that I’m back I’ve thrown myself into contract renegotiations. I guess I’m the Rosie O’Donnell of the Internet. I told the boys at Slant that I wanted my own section with fuscia background and purple text, a fuzzy Hello Kitty Trapper Keeper, a year’s supply of SmartWater, and a 25% stake in the magazine. They said I could relaunch my Letters From Camp column in the blog, limited my entries to once a week, and offered me a glass from the tap. But whatev. I’m not hard to please.
With that out of the way, I’ve got some serious dirt to dish from Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Granted, it’s not very dirty and it’s a little stale (fashion week was three months ago). First off, let’s talk VW. For those not familiar with my column, that’s Ugly Betty’s Vanessa Williams, who is apparently one of those people because when I tried to get her attention as she was being whisked down the runway to her seat at the Carmen Marc Valvo show, she stopped, turned around to look at me, and asked, “Did you just call me ’VW’?” “Yes,” I answered. She thought for a second and then said, “I think I like that.” Yes, it was a close one. You do not want to cross Wilhelmina. When I asked if she was wearing CMV, she said, “Of course,” but I didn’t buy it.
I got shut out of this season’s Red Dress show by the Secret Service because the First Lady was attending—simultaneously the best and worst reason to be turned away. I did, however, gain access to Reem Acra, where I stole a moment with potty-mouthed Amber Tamblyn: “I really fucking love Reem’s use of velvet. I think that velvet is so fucking underutilized. And that last guipure lace gown was the shit! I’m going to have to high-five Reem when I get back there! I wore Reem at the Golden Globes when I was up for best actress in a TV series in a drama. My next project is a film called Spring Breakdown with Parker Posey. I think it will come out sometime in the fall. October maybe.” Uh, yeah, I’m there.
I forcibly made my way through the post-Max Azria crowd to talk to John Legend. I figured that once he caught a glimpse of me, he would instantly propose marriage. Not the case. In fact, he barely looked at me while I was grilling him, mainly due to the paparazzi’s blinding cameras:
Me: Did you come to the shows to see the models or the collection?
Him: [Snicker] A little bit of both.
Me: Is this the only show you plan on attending?
Him: [Pushing a camera out of his face] Yes. First ever and last.
I heart John Legend.
At Y&Kei, I spotted Aisha Tyler, who told me she’s got two movies coming out soon (Death Sentence and Balls of Fury with Christopher Walken). “I don’t plan on going to any more shows,” she said. “I just want to go home to L.A.” You’re not John Legend, Aisha. I’ll take your front-row seat, thanks.
I ran into both Alicia Keys, who was wearing a black trench and probably nothing underneath, and Kelly Rowland, who was taking a break from recording her new album, at the Tracy Reese show. Kelly told me the title of her album (Ms. Kelly) and the release date (June) [Editor’s Note: It’s been pushed to 7/3]. A few months ago that was some serious inside info, people! Now the hot new single, “Like This,” is out but it hasn’t exactly been heating up the charts. No, I didn’t think that Ms. Kelly could bump like that. And she looks smokin’ in the video. Eve? Not so much.
Kelly’s already on to a new single, produced by Scott Storch, who seriously makes me gag…and not in the good way. I have to run now. TTFN!
This blog entry was originally published on Slant Magazine on the date above.