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Annie, Are You Okay?

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Annie, Are You Okay?

With apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein, how do you solve a problem like The Vixen? In the first four weeks of this year’s Drag Race competition, she has outpestered every pest, driven hornets from their nest, and even thrown that whirling dervish Eureka out of whirl. Conditions are to the point that, because she knows that if she has to sit in that Untucked area backstage she’ll end up popping off on some other queen, The Vixen privately confides that she just hopes she’s not deemed “safe” this week. She’d rather be in the bottom three than risk cutting off valuable kiki time by reminding white queens of just how loaded words like “crafty” actually are. During an earlier fight, Monique Heart said she worried that The Vixen’s commitment to the warpath would stand in the way of presenting “her blessing.” And “The Bossy Rossy Show” fully brings that conflict to a head. And only on Drag Race could a fiery semiotics lesson so comfortably stand shoulder with another personality donning a full-body pickle suit and toting around a doctor’s clipboard.

According to last week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly, reality television honcho Mark Burnett opted to cut away from two lesbian kisses during the Thanksgiving Day episode of Survivor where the cast was briefly reunited with their loved ones. His response:

I’d be an idiot not to notice both the way the country voted and the backlash from the FCC that came off of Janet Jackson’s [big black tittie]. I wanted to protect my franchise and didn’t think it was right to show both lesbian kisses at 8 o’clock.”

Apparently a nonsexual kiss between the 60-year-old Scout and Annie, her partner of 26 years, and a benign smooch between survivor Ami and her girlfriend of three years are just as offensive as Janet flashing her tit in front of ninety million viewers on live TV. Burnett claims CBS had no involvement in the decision, but evidently it’s okay to show first season winner Richard, who happens to be a raging homo, rubbing his naked cock up against two-time loser Sue on last season’s All Stars edition, or Ted dry-humping Ghandia while she slept innocently in Thailand (they’re both black—shouldn’t that have gotten the red states’ panties in a twitch too?). Hey, Burnett, it’s reality television—if you’re not going to show us the reality of gay relationships, then don’t cast gay people on your shows. I expect more from a Brit.