Tailor-made for the undiscriminating Christian, Snow Dogs is full of good ol’ family values so bland and uncinematic the film could be resold as a very special episode of 7th Heaven. Minus the snarling poodle that lives next to his Miami apartment, dentist Ted Brooks (Cuba Gooding Jr.) lives a carefree existence, showcasing his toothy grin and fondness for Michael Bolton. Horrified yet? The film’s Miami is Southern comfort for the dork sector (think Revenge of the Nerds starring Sisqo) while its sitcom Alaska is straight out of Out Cold. Ted discovers he is adopted and heads to the icy land of tooth decay to claim his biological mother’s inheritance. There he tames a few uppity pooches and gets personal with his crotchety white daddy (James Coburn). Disney’s trailer would like you to believe that Ted’s snow dogs are of the talking kind. They speak all right, but only in one lame-brained hallucination sequence where the lounging canines are ceremoniously one-upped by Janet Jackson lookalike Joanna Bacalso’s furry bikini. Forget the warm and cuddly family values; they’re the least of film’s problems. Snow Dogs is trailer trash cinema so uncool the only thing missing is the “Gadzooks!” After last year’s Rat Race, Snow Dogs finds Gooding officially going AWOL in B-movie land.
- Buena Vista Pictures
- 97 min
- Brian Levant
- Mark Gibson, Michael Goldberg, Jim Kouf, Tommy Swerdlow
- Cuba Gooding Jr., James Coburn, Joanna Bacalso, Nichelle Nichols, M. Emmet Walsh, Brian Doyle-Murray, Graham Greene, Sisqo
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