Just Married‘s limp, two-minute plot observes what happens when Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy tie the knot and decide to spill one too many secrets on their honeymoon. As for the 90-minute-plus filler material: when not getting hit on the head with blunt objects, the couple gets to repeatedly smash into things and smell everyone else’s flatulence. Not only does Just Married lack a discernable sense of comedic timing and rhythm (kind of like this review), the unusually clunky and haphazard way with which it’s pieced together (kind of like this review) brings to mind a sitcom family sitting around the couch reminiscing via a lazy clip montage. One mitigating factor: Kutcher and Brittany are so gosh darn adorable you can almost lose yourself in their pearly whites. But there are at least a half dozen continuity errors in any given scene. That they’re so easy to spot reeks of an obvious attempt at distracting the audience away from the fact that the film has absolutely no pulse, kind of like this review.
- 20th Century Fox
- 100 min
- Shawn Levy
- Sam Harper
- Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy, Christian Kane, David Moscow, Monet Mazur, David Rasche, Thad Luckinbill, Taran Killam, Raymond J. Barry
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