The flimsy plot of Shawn Levy’s Just Married concerns what happens when Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah (Brittany Murphy) tie the knot and decide to spill one too many secrets on their honeymoon. The rest is filler. When not getting hit on the head with blunt objects, the couple gets to repeatedly smash into things and smell everyone else’s flatulence. Not only does Just Married lack a discernable sense of comedic timing and rhythm (kind of like this review), the unusually clunky and haphazard way with which it’s pieced together (kind of like this review) brings to mind a sitcom family sitting around the couch reminiscing via a lazy clip montage. One mitigating factor: Kutcher and Brittany are so gosh darn adorable you can almost lose yourself in their pearly whites. But there are at least a half dozen continuity errors in any given scene. That they’re so easy to spot reeks of an obvious attempt at distracting the audience away from the fact that the film has absolutely no pulse, kind of like this review.
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