Review: Clockstoppers

Clockstoopers is unusually fetishistic for a film so skittish about swapping saliva.

Clockstoppers
Photo: Paramount Pictures

The tagline reads “freeze the future” not “stop the future.” The latter would be entirely too fatalistic for a children’s flick that clearly belongs on the small screen. What with the prepubescent dork factor, a cast that includes Julia Sweeny and Robin Thomas and a director whose past credits includes “Diagnosis Murder” and “Star Trek: Voyager,” Clockstoppers has Nickelodeon sitcom written all over it. Zak Gibbs (Jesse Bradford) stumbles upon his scientist father’s “hypertime” wristwatch: press one button and you’ll be moving so fast the whole rest of the world will look like it’s standing still. Lest you think Zak might take hypertime by the horns and cop a feel, remember the film’s PG rating. Tailor-made for pre-pubescent boys young enough to want their own mini J. Lo, Clockstoopers is unusually fetishistic for a film so skittish about swapping saliva. Zak and Francesca “lo veo pero no lo creo” De La Cruz save Zak’s dad from an evil corporation apparently trying to use hypertime for Evil. The soundtrack is a veritable catalog of blasé alterna-boy band tunes (Blink 182 and you’ll miss Third Eye Blind) while a rave scene posits tripping without the amphetamines. As for the film’s special effects, they’re retro-cool and should tickle anyone still fond of Nick’s “Adventures of Alex Mack.” But, then again, hypertime Zak chooses to give dog urine to the meter maid rather than rub up against his Latin mami. Geez, teenagers can be so lame.

Score: 
 Cast: Jesse Bradford, French Stewart, Paula Garcés, Michael Biehn, Robin Thomas, Jason Winston George, Linda Kim, Julia Sweeney  Director: Jonathan Frakes  Screenwriter: Rob Hedden, J. David Stern, David N. Weiss  Distributor: Paramount Pictures  Running Time: 94 min  Rating: PG  Year: 2002  Buy: Video, Soundtrack

Ed Gonzalez

Ed Gonzalez is the co-founder of Slant Magazine. A member of the New York Film Critics Circle, his writing has appeared in The Village Voice, The Los Angeles Times, and other publications.

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