A Four Letter Word

A Four Letter Word

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How dismally arch and self-satisfied can a Chelseacore sex comedy get? Start with an opening-title sequence that instantly serves up nude yoga, a shower makeout session between two soon-to-be-combative lovers, and a closing-time threeway; then follow with summery New York travelogue shots linking the same old Sex and the City-wannabe horny circle of friends. The putative fun starts when porn-shop clerk and bubble-brained slut Luke (Jesse Archer) meets cute with trust-funded painter Stephen (Charlie David), a “total top” who declares the serial hoe to be “a gay cliché.” Easy on the autocritique! Lust defeats instant aversion, and the contrary pair are jumping into bed a couple scenes later. Archer, whose fierce queen’s hair has apparently survived a particularly gruesome mousse-and-highlights accident, strides through one rhythmless scene after another with the entitlement of Paul Lynde’s heir while instead approximating a lip-glossed JM J. Bullock. “There’s a party in my pants and everybody’s coming!” is a typical bon mot. The bodies are uniformly toned, the kissing and fucking scenes performed with vaguely grotesque energy, and the obligatory straight gal-pal (Virginia Bryan) is a masochistic, frazzled mess fumbling with pre-wedding stress and a come-on from her female sobriety sponsor. Director Casper Andreas and co-writer Archer can’t even wring a laugh out of a sexual compulsives’ 12-step group, or do much of anything with their whorish hero’s discovery that his BF is a bona fide hustler. Points for valor in defeat go to Cory Grant as Luke’s activist-cutie co-worker, and Jeremy Gender as his wingman, who evaluates cock types in a backroom scrum with monikers like “a Sloping Cascade.” Love and slut may be the four-letter words the script proffers, but as Luke might leeringly hiss, “So is shit!”

Buy
DVD
Distributor
Embrem Entertainment
Runtime
87 min
Rating
NR
Year
2007
Director
Casper Andreas
Screenwriter
Casper Andreas, Jesse Archer
Cast
Jesse Archer, Charlie David, Cory Grant, Steven M. Goldsmith, J.R. Rolley, Virginia Bryan