Review: My Baby’s Daddy

I was indisposed when a Miramax publicist called to tell me that a media screening I had been scheduled for had been moved. When my roommate asked what the woman’s phone call was regarding, she nonchalantly replied, “My baby’s daddy.” That’s comedy! The same, of course, can’t be said for Miramax’s ghetto variation of Three Men and a Baby (three babies do not mean three times the fun). Geeky wannabe inventor Lonnie (Eddie Griffin), salesman-wannabe-boxer G (Anthony Anderson) and wannabe record producer Dominic (Michael Imperioli) live in the same house and do everything at the same time. Not only do they fuck and impregnate their girlfriends (and/or one night stands) on the same night, they become daddies nine months later at the same exact time. Have you noticed a trend yet? Each buffoon gets his own prickly subplot, which they successfully persevere as soon as they pass Mr. Mom 101: Lonnie ditches a put-on Mac Daddy routine, woos a girl that’s “in his league” and becomes a successful inventor; G finally connects with his Asian girlfriend’s father (over ganja and a 40, of course); and Dominic learns that children can have one daddy and two mommies. There’s no time to be insulted by the endless string of racial jokes considering how infuriatingly literal the film is: G’s no-good cousin is named, umm, No Good (Method Man); Dominic’s boy barfs and is referred to as “the Exorcist baby” (naturally); the Lamaze coach played by Amy Sedaris advises Lonnie’s hoochie mama to “get into your favorite position” and the woman does just that (read: doggy-style); and when the ladies in the film are asked to “push it,” enter Salt ‘N Pepa on the film’s soundtrack. This kind of literal-mindedness should be a crime. The record executive in the film that butts heads with Dominic amusingly works as a parody of Death Row’s Suge Knight (he’s named Drive By and forces Dominic’s “white OutKast” to sign a “Don’t Fuck With Me” contract) but Tiny Lister really shouldn’t be allowed to act.