From the director of “VH-1 to One: Paula Abdul” comes Juwanna Mann, a new comedy seemingly titled by SNL’s Drunk Girl and written for the urban crowd that walked out of Sorority Boys. Jamaal (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) is a big-shot basketball player oblivious to the implications of his big ego and the M.C. Hammer memento latched to his jeep’s front fender. After a mid-game Chippendales number, Jamaal is indefinitely sidelined as per the nasty morals clause in his contract. One Chapter 11 later, pro basketball’s infamous ball hog tucks his manhood in for a little action in the WUBA woman’s league. Jamaal turns Juwaana Mann, falling for Vivica A. Fox’s juwanna womann, the hottie on the Banshees team who’s getting played by Ginuwine’s Romeo. A broken heart leads to complicated girl-talk and stiff double entendres, leaving Juwaana Man caught between a jockstrap and B cup. Though significantly less crass and offensive than Sorority Boys, Juwanna Man is rated PG-13 for “Lil’ Kim’s booty not included” (mind you: the film’s highlight is a cutesy ass-grabbing scenario on the film’s basketball court). The film packs about as much punch as an urban Afterschool Special (something about a man needing to wear heels in order to learn the meaning of teamwork), which means Juwanna Mann is more Just One of the Guys than Weird Science. If the film feels as if it should be buried in an ’80s compost heap, blame the filmmakers and a terrifyingly effective Núñez Jr. for playing it entirely too straight. Juwana Mann is retro-reductive and with Lil’ Kim bailing ship five minutes in, this one is all tease.
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