Ten Reasons Why You Should (Or Shouldn’t) See Raise Your Voice. 1. Ludwig van Beethoven: Unless her character is deaf or suffers from liver disease, no Hilary Duff movie should ever begin with a quote by the German composer. 2. Shameless Self-Promotion: Hilary Duff’s brother in the film has three movie posters in his room, all for New Line films (American Splendor, Final Destination, and The Lord of the Rings). 3. Incest: As if anticipating his own death, Hilary Duff’s brother crams 50 years’ worth of love into a period of one week and the effect is not unlike watching a teenage boy wack off to The Lizzie McGuire Movie. 4. “It’s Okay To Look Fat”: Words of encouragement uttered in Raise Your Voice that no record producer will ever say to the tween singer. 5. Reality Check: A recent episode of American Idol confirms that girls in competitive competitions don’t need much ammunition to hate on you, but that doesn’t mean your competitors are going to stand idly by while you turn their Summer Music Program into a Pop Vamping Program. 6. Hommie Don’t Play That: Hilary Duff tries to “get down” with her black roommate…and it works! 7. Hot For Teacher: After playing a “sexy priest” in Raising Helen, John Corbett plays a “sexy teacher” in Raise Your Voice (note to Mr. Corbett: Please, stop taking parts where blondes half your age fawn over your sexy self). 8. Poseurs: Are we supposed to believe that that’s a real tattoo on the British kid’s arm or that Hilary Duff would mosh at a Three Days Grace concert? 9. Flashbacks and Power Montages: When in doubt, tell your story using advice from the Ron Howard Guide to Filmmaking. 10. Affirmative Action: No matter how pretty and blond you are, if a black character in your film says they don’t have money, you are not going to win the lucrative $10,000 scholarship.
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