Review: Laws of Attraction

To see Laws of Attraction is to see an actress play the fiddle while her reputation burns.

Laws of Attraction
Photo: New Line Cinema

Julianne Moore, who’s never shuddered at appearing in studio sludge like Nine Months, Assassins, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Evolution, and Hannibal, plays in Laws of Attraction what may be the most obnoxious white woman in a Hollywood movie since Erin Brockovich. This screwball pastiche with the comic rhythm of a dump truck marks her first starring role in a film that necessitates that she be typically sweet and funny, neither trait of which her meritorious credentials in hard melodrama can even begin to approximate.

Dreadfully partnered with the effortless Pierce Brosnan, the two play battling Manhattan divorce attorneys who get drunk, fuck, regret it, get drunk again, get shotgun-married, fuck again, regret it again, and (after a soul-killing hour-and-a-half, not including the faux-Catch Me If You Can opening credits) fall the fuck in love. Brosnan’s characteristically roguish advances, which generated showers of sparks opposite come-hither Rene Russo in John McTiernan’s fabulous remake of The Thomas Crown Affair, are detrimental here given the creepily strained and non-charismatic nature of the coupling.

Underrated for how much he understands the power of pause, Brosnan’s generosity unfortunately begets Moore’s mugging. Her Audrey Woods is depicted as a craven, sexless careerist—the only conduit that the film has to establishing her workplace equality—and Moore concurs with that, exuding the cuddly charm of Ann Coulter. The pernicious cliché of an attractive woman gobbling product placement, err, junk food is utilized to gain humility and to differentiate Audrey from her socialite, nipped/tucked mother (Frances Fisher, channeling Katherine Helmond), however it merely amplifies her human ugliness.

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Unequipped at tweaking anything resembling wit from her character’s horrible clucking, and botching all comedic opportunities, Moore resorts to gaining our acceptance via contemptuous treatment of others—highlighted by Audrey’s frequent arrogant outbursts and mocking of cultures other than her own. This is a woman who, in the context of reality, no self-respecting man would desire to share an elevator with, much less the rest of his life. The gauzy lens filters that erase Moore’s lines and freckles also rob her of an instinctive rawness and honesty. To see Laws of Attraction is to see an actress play the fiddle while her reputation burns.

Score: 
 Cast: Pierce Brosnon, Julianne Moore, Parker Posey, Michael Sheen, Nora Dunn, David Kelly, Frances Fisher, Elva Crowley, Mina Badie, Mike Doyle  Director: Peter Howitt  Screenwriter: Robert Harling, Aline Brosh McKenna  Distributor: New Line Cinema  Running Time: 90 min  Rating: PG-13  Year: 2004  Buy: Video, Soundtrack

Joe McGovern

Joe McGovern is a freelance writer and editor. His work has also appeared in Entertainment Weekly, The Village Voice, Premiere, and Matinee Magazine.

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