Michelle Pfeiffer (#110 of 5)

Sinful Cinema Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Most Offensive and Homophobic Football Movie Ever Made

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Sinful Cinema: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Most Offensive and Homophobic Football Movie Ever Made
Sinful Cinema: Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Most Offensive and Homophobic Football Movie Ever Made

One of my favorite things about recalling my movie-watching past is considering the ways I viewed certain films through younger eyes. To see these movies again, today, is often a wildly different experience. Back then, there were countless passages I didn't get, and, surely, dialogue I couldn't grasp. A childhood story I've recounted ad nauseam involves Batman Returns, and my recitation of the word “bastard” at a friend's house during playtime. I was eight, and I was scolded by the friend's mom, but all I knew was that's what Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman said when she landed in a truck full of kitty litter. We all have stories like this, of course. But I recently discovered that, in my personal viewing history, perhaps no movie has played more differently for my current and former selves than Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.

Co-written by lead star Jim Carrey, this 1994 football-themed farce made the rubbery comedian a household name, and was quickly followed, within two years, by the onslaught of The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Batman Forever, and the Ace Ventura sequel, When Nature Calls. I'm not sure if I ever loved Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, but I clearly absorbed enough of it to remember its hallmarks well: lines like, “Alrighty then”; Ace's signature, tidal-wave up-do; and gags like Ace literally talking out of his ass. What I didn't realize is that this movie is shockingly offensive, and not in the tongue-in-cheek, envelope-pushing way most modern comedies are. It's set during the lead-up to a Super Bowl, and while I'm sure plenty of football films have delivered their share of queer slurs, I don't think any are as homophobic—or, in large part, transphobic—as this one.

Sinful Cinema Catwoman

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Sinful Cinema: Catwoman
Sinful Cinema: Catwoman

If 2004's Catwoman expressed anything, it wasn't female empowerment, but the empowerment Halle Berry felt after winning her historic Oscar three years prior. Having already rocked her Bond-girl bikini in 2002's Die Another Day, Berry kept on trucking with the sexualized-heroine angle, liberated by the kudos she netted for letting Billy Bob Thornton make her “feel good,” and no doubt thinking more about Catwoman's iconography than the actual strength of the new film's material. It's hard to recall a recent Oscar victor with an odder post-win career than Berry. Critic David Edelstein has rather aptly called her out as being a “lovely non-actress,” and her taste in projects has been, quite frankly, bonkers. From Gothika to Cloud Atlas, there's really no Berry film that one can admit to liking without a disclaimer. Catwoman, at least, is vividly exceptional, a good piece of trash with copious watchability, for both its car-wreck qualities and abundant camp delights. She may have showed up to collect the Razzie she ultimately won (again, galvanized by her shield of Academy approval), but it is a bit sad that Berry really isn't in on the joke here. As Edelstein says, she's an endearing and uncannily comely star, but she's largely—and often, hilariously—to blame for this film's undoing.

15 Famous Beautiful Creatures

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15 Famous Beautiful Creatures
15 Famous Beautiful Creatures

This weekend, the young-adult freight train that kicked off with Twilight and kept a-rollin' with The Hunger Games makes some room for Beautiful Creatures, a supernatural romance (natch) based on the book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. Written and directed by Richard LaGravenese, who has some fine scripts under his belt, but is also responsible for the Hilary Swank stankers Freedom Writers and P.S. I Love You, the new film is indeed packed with handsome specimens, like Emmy Rossum, Jeremy Irons, and newcomer Alice Englert. The whole thing got us thinking about beautiful creatures of movies past—characters not quite human, but quite easy on the eyes.

15 Famous Women in Black

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15 Famous Women in Black
15 Famous Women in Black

This weekend, Daniel Radcliffe celebrates his first post-Potter effort with the release of The Woman in Black, a horror thriller about an axe-grinding female ghost who need only be seen to claim a child's life. The veiled phantom surely has the edge when it comes to offing the little ones, but she hails from a long line of ladies who've gone all Hot Topic for the camera. Witches, wives, and even Whoopi made this list of women who sport only the darkest uniforms, making them scary, sexy, cool, sophisticated, and in some cases, all of the above.