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Oscar 2010 Winner Predictions: Makeup

I atone and once again predict the movie that most liberally cakes it on to win.

Star Trek
Photo: Paramount Pictures

Yes, I kicked off our predictions last year with a monumental fuckup in this very category, presuming the movie that wasn’t nominated for 12 Oscars would triumph over the one that was, simply due to its plentiful hunks of tempera-hued latex. I atone…and once again predict the movie that most liberally cakes it on to win. But only because, this year, the Academy made it so easy to choose the showiest nominee.

In the same sense that the music branch last year seemed to deliberately keep Bruce Springsteen out of the song lineup to ensure yet another win for that Bollywood facsimile, the makeup branch apparently decided to clear a path for Star Trek by passing over Best Picture-nominee District 9’s goopy, feature-length metamorphosis. Never mind that, among Trek’s main cast, only tribal-tatted Eric Bana looks like he spent more than 15 minutes in the makeup chair. Instead of finding room for District 9’s green Popeye arm, two offshore interlopers took its place on the ballot, presumably on the same biopic-tinged ticket that saw Marion Cotillard’s ghoulish, styptic-penciled decomposition to a win two years ago.

That said, most Academy members probably lack the facilities to properly judge Il Divo’s historical veracity, much less remember that Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano were nominated (and lost) just a few years ago for Apocalypto. (Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that some initially thought this nomination was in reference to the Max Factor perfection of this Il Divo.) And Jenny Shircore would be a lot more likely to ascend the podium once again (she won in ’98 for Elizabeth) if the royal vehicle she was hitched to this time around were called The Old Victoria.

Will Win: Star Trek

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Should Win: Il Divo

Eric Henderson

Eric Henderson is the web content manager for WCCO-TV. His writing has also appeared in City Pages.

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