As the OLDienator prepares to attend his 20 year high school reunion, he would like to nostalgically return you to the days of your high school English classes. Remember when the English teacher came to class one day, spouting weird Japanese words through a Cheshire Cat smile that seemed more sadistic than usual? Something about haiku, and how you were going to read 15 million of them and interpret every single one? You may remember saying afterward that if you ever saw another haiku, you might commit hari-kari.
Well, put that sword down! Haiku can be fun.
For the uninitiated, a haiku is an unrhymed three line poem in a 5-7-5 meter. The first line has five syllables, the second has seven, and the third has five. For example:
At The House Next Door
"The New World" is so worshipped!
But I fart in church.
Here are five haiku about movies, movie characters, and celebrities. They come with one caveat: If you read them, you have to respond in kind. After all, this is virtual nostalgia English class. You knew there'd be homework.
1.
An offer they made
that he couldn't refuse: Why
Brando did "The Score."
2.
You were a woman
Until you dropped your knickers.
Oh well. Since I'm here...
3.
White Men Can't Jump, and
According to "Footloose," they
cannot dance either.
4.
A new jack singer
Is outacted by a cat.
Welcome to "Glitter."
5.
BrAngelina and
TomKat? Go back 40 years
And you'll find LizArd!
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