Review: Unaccompanied Minors

The film has an excellent pedigree, but when it poops it stinks of a Tim Allen movie.

Unaccompanied Minors

Paul Feig first made a splash writing for Freaks and Geeks before going on to direct episodes of Arrested Development and The Office. In a gesture of good faith, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, B.J. Novak, and Mindy Kaling all got Feig’s back, making cameos in Unaccompanied Minors, a comedy about a group of kids who incur the wrath of a scrooge played by Lewis Black by turning his airport into their playpen. The film has an excellent pedigree, but when it poops it stinks of a Tim Allen movie. After the creepy fat kid from Bad Santa promises to track down a Christmas tree, the four remaining stereotypes—a prissy black kid who faints at the sight of Santa Claus, a tom boy Lewis’s nasty Oliver refers to as Ellen Degeneres, a fetch girl with the heart of a geek, and the requisite pasty-white savior who boosts everyone’s Christmas spirit—are left to run around the airport by themselves, sliding down baggage conveyor belts and sifting through treasures in the unclaimed baggage department. In a post-9/11 world, their unchecked behavior doesn’t make a lick of sense; neither does their uncanny ability to hack into a security camera’s video feed with their walkie talkies. Upright Citizen’s Brigade alum and Daily Show regular Rob Corddry almost saves the day, bringing a surprising warmth to a dorky dad who must decide whether saving his children is worth it if it means driving a diesel-powered Hummer. But for every up there is a down, none lower than Wilmer Valderrama who, as an ostensibly Mexican airport drone, yells “Ay carumba!” after the unaccompanied minors knock him to the ground. Way to represent, dog!

Score: 
 Cast: Lewis Black, Wilmer Valderrama, Tyler James Williams, Dylan Christopher, Brett Kelly, Gina Mantegna, Quinn Shephard, Paget Brewster, Rob Corddry, Dominique Saldana, Jessica Walter, Tony Hale, Rob Riggle, Michelle Sandler, David Koechner, B.J. Novak, Mindy Kaling  Director: Paul Feig  Screenwriter: Jacob Meszaros, Mya Stark  Distributor: Warner Bros.  Running Time: 89 min  Rating: PG  Year: 2006  Buy: Video, Soundtrack

Ed Gonzalez

Ed Gonzalez is the co-founder of Slant Magazine. A member of the New York Film Critics Circle, his writing has appeared in The Village Voice, The Los Angeles Times, and other publications.

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