Film Comment Vol. 41/No. 5
By: Ed Gonzalez On: 09/14/2005 01:07:08 In: Magazines Comments: 6
Received the September/October issue of Film Comment a week ago and I'm a little bummed. Well, that's not entirely true: To be fair, Phillip Lopate's article on George Clooney's Good Night, and Good Luck is as regal and well-written as the film, and I haven't had the pleasure of reading Amy Taubin's article on A History of Violence because we're told that we're not supposed to read it until we've actually seen the film, and being that onliners are persona non grata over at New Line Cinema, Amy's going to have to wait until the 23rd. My disappointment, then, really stems from two places: David Mamet's irritating "Forever Amber" article, a piece of work every bit as full-of-shit as any film this blowhard has unleashed on the American public the last 20 years, and Armond White's absence from the Critics Choice section. What's the fun of this page if you don't get to see how all the bombs are almost completely isolated to White's column? His replacement this month is Godfrey Cheshire, who only saw six of the listed films. Kudos, though, to Andrew Sarris, who managed to see (and like) every film on that list except for Where the Truth Lies, which I imagine he'll hate given that Colin Firth tries to stick his dick in Kevin Bacon's asshole in the film and Sarris doesn't go for that kind of gay shit unless its between two ladies (see his rating for My Summer of Love, then note his rating for Wedding Crashers, and then read his review of Tropical Malady in the New York Observer). Note to Sarris: Tits on Page 78.
Received the September/October issue of Film Comment a week ago and I'm a little bummed. Well, that's not entirely true: To be fair, Phillip Lopate's article on George Clooney's Good Night, and Good Luck is as regal and well-written as the film, and I haven't had the pleasure of reading Amy Taubin's article on A History of Violence because we're told that we're not supposed to read it until we've actually seen the film, and being that onliners are persona non grata over at New Line Cinema, Amy's going to have to wait until the 23rd. My disappointment, then, really stems from two places: David Mamet's irritating "Forever Amber" article, a piece of work every bit as full-of-shit as any film this blowhard has unleashed on the American public the last 20 years, and Armond White's absence from the Critics Choice section. What's the fun of this page if you don't get to see how all the bombs are almost completely isolated to White's column? His replacement this month is Godfrey Cheshire, who only saw six of the listed films. Kudos, though, to Andrew Sarris, who managed to see (and like) every film on that list except for Where the Truth Lies, which I imagine he'll hate given that Colin Firth tries to stick his dick in Kevin Bacon's asshole in the film and Sarris doesn't go for that kind of gay shit unless its between two ladies (see his rating for My Summer of Love, then note his rating for Wedding Crashers, and then read his review of Tropical Malady in the New York Observer). Note to Sarris: Tits on Page 78.
EW: Fashion Police
By: Sal Cinquemani On: 08/13/2005 01:16:08 In: Magazines Comments: 0
I don't hate Entertainment Weekly. Okay, maybe sometimes I do. Especially when they waste precious page space on columns like Tim Stack's "Sins of Summer" (August 12, 2005), in which the Style Sheet scribe criticized Whitney Houston for wearing visors and "Norma Desmond-style head scarves" on national television (note to EW: Being Bobby Brown is a fucking reality show) and dissected the Fisher clan's duds on Six Feet Under (not a reality show, but real enough not to dress Lauren Ambrose in Dolce & Gabbana for her damn corporate temp job). Even more infuriating, this hack began his SFU blurb with the witless statement, "Under's fashion slump is even more shocking than its creative one." Just one week later, the show has landed on top of EW's "Must List" and scored a mixed review in the same issue (August 19, 2005). It seems the fags over at EW can't make up their minds, but we here at Slant think this is the show's best season since its sophomore year. It's sad to see Six Feet Under go as it reaches a new peak of harrowing depth. The entire cast deserves Emmys for last Sunday's episode alone—after starting each new episode with an often flippant death, the show is once again poignantly dealing with the subject as it nears its own end.
I don't hate Entertainment Weekly. Okay, maybe sometimes I do. Especially when they waste precious page space on columns like Tim Stack's "Sins of Summer" (August 12, 2005), in which the Style Sheet scribe criticized Whitney Houston for wearing visors and "Norma Desmond-style head scarves" on national television (note to EW: Being Bobby Brown is a fucking reality show) and dissected the Fisher clan's duds on Six Feet Under (not a reality show, but real enough not to dress Lauren Ambrose in Dolce & Gabbana for her damn corporate temp job). Even more infuriating, this hack began his SFU blurb with the witless statement, "Under's fashion slump is even more shocking than its creative one." Just one week later, the show has landed on top of EW's "Must List" and scored a mixed review in the same issue (August 19, 2005). It seems the fags over at EW can't make up their minds, but we here at Slant think this is the show's best season since its sophomore year. It's sad to see Six Feet Under go as it reaches a new peak of harrowing depth. The entire cast deserves Emmys for last Sunday's episode alone—after starting each new episode with an often flippant death, the show is once again poignantly dealing with the subject as it nears its own end.
Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Anyone?
By: Ed Gonzalez On: 06/04/2005 01:26:33 In: Magazines Comments: 0
Above: A peasant woman from Bali, Indonesia goes out of business
Above: A peasant woman from Bali, Indonesia goes out of business
after Entertainment Weekly declares sarongs are "five minutes ago."
Mark Ramsey's Reviewing Entertainment Weekly blog, in which the Movie Juice writer and comic performer from Hollywood "electro-shocks the gonads of America's favorite entertainment rag," is scarcely updated, but a series of posts Mark wrote in March 2004 could still apply to Entertainment Weekly's ongoing crimes against cinephilia. Mark rates every section of Entertainment Weekly using a letter grade, saving his harshest rating for Jim Mullen and Jessica Shaw's regular columns (the former one is now defunct). In last week's issue of Entertainment Weekly, Shaw tells us that Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Kurtas, and Culinary-Academy Vacations are in, Soy Crisps, Sarongs, and Wine-Tasting Vacations are five minutes ago, and Trail Mix, Towels, and Detox Vacations are out. I know several people who work or have worked for Entertainment Weekly (all of whom use towels after they shower), and while I have a vague idea what the magazine pays its staff and freelancers, I'm guessing Jessica Shaw's income bracket is way in the stratosphere if she can afford to take a fucking culinary-academy vacation and nibble on Kashi Go Lean Crunch while pounding out these uncomfortably elitist columns. I don't know what's worse, the utter humorless of this would-be tastemaker's weekly venture or that the magazine that employs her allows her to flaunt this privilege so callously. I mean, seriously, who reads this shit? Melania Knauss? It's comforting, though, to know that there are people like Mark who are equally perturbed by this column's high-brow condescension. I leave you, then, with this funny bit of wisdom from Mark himself: "IN - Ignoring the Shaw Report. FIVE MINUTES AGO - Skipping over the Shaw Report. OUT - Questioning the reason for the Shaw Report's existence."
Mark Ramsey's Reviewing Entertainment Weekly blog, in which the Movie Juice writer and comic performer from Hollywood "electro-shocks the gonads of America's favorite entertainment rag," is scarcely updated, but a series of posts Mark wrote in March 2004 could still apply to Entertainment Weekly's ongoing crimes against cinephilia. Mark rates every section of Entertainment Weekly using a letter grade, saving his harshest rating for Jim Mullen and Jessica Shaw's regular columns (the former one is now defunct). In last week's issue of Entertainment Weekly, Shaw tells us that Kashi Go Lean Crunch, Kurtas, and Culinary-Academy Vacations are in, Soy Crisps, Sarongs, and Wine-Tasting Vacations are five minutes ago, and Trail Mix, Towels, and Detox Vacations are out. I know several people who work or have worked for Entertainment Weekly (all of whom use towels after they shower), and while I have a vague idea what the magazine pays its staff and freelancers, I'm guessing Jessica Shaw's income bracket is way in the stratosphere if she can afford to take a fucking culinary-academy vacation and nibble on Kashi Go Lean Crunch while pounding out these uncomfortably elitist columns. I don't know what's worse, the utter humorless of this would-be tastemaker's weekly venture or that the magazine that employs her allows her to flaunt this privilege so callously. I mean, seriously, who reads this shit? Melania Knauss? It's comforting, though, to know that there are people like Mark who are equally perturbed by this column's high-brow condescension. I leave you, then, with this funny bit of wisdom from Mark himself: "IN - Ignoring the Shaw Report. FIVE MINUTES AGO - Skipping over the Shaw Report. OUT - Questioning the reason for the Shaw Report's existence."
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